this year.

I typically don’t pay much attention to frivolous governmental actions, but this baseball steroid fiasco has gone to far.

Congress? Congress has taken it upon itself to investigate steroid use in baseball, and feels that the recent changes made to drug enforcement are not strong enough, and they may have to step in. Am I the only one that thinks this is just a little ridiculous? Does Congress have nothing better to do? Isn’t there a war somewhere, and isn’t oil $57 a barrel? Their reasons seem admirable. “Drug use in baseball sets a bad example for the youth of the nation. These individuals are role models.” Ahh. The role model debate. This is nothing new, and people have debated to death the ‘sports players are role models’ viewpoint. You know what? They probably are. They do things well, and kids want to be like them. I guess it’s my fault for giving kids to much credit, to be able to decide what is right and wrong on their own. Thank goodness for the republican government; they will make this world safe for kids and sports.

It’s one thing that Congress has decided to hold these hearings, but it’s another that sports channels have decided to air them live. I’d like to blame this on the lack of hockey, but I can’t, because most Americans don’t even notice the absence of the sport this year. They don’t want to talk about baseball’s steroid use to fill the hole, they want to talk about baseball’s steroid use because it’s an issue they KNOW will have drastic, and long lasting effects on their country. If CNN, Fox News, Sportsnet, ESPN and TSN think it’s a big news issue, then I should too…..right?

I have to laugh to myself when I tune into TSN and see Canseco and McGwire sitting in front of congressmen talking about steroids. Then I have to laugh out loud when I read at the bottom of the screen that Canseco will answer questions, but when the time comes he will invoke the 5th amendment. Has this debate really grown so large that we need pseudo-sports celebrities worrying about incriminating themselves? It was at that point I promptly changed the channel to The View, and contemplated putting these thoughts down on paper. (note: it was a wonderful St. Patrick’s Day episode. They all wore green and one of the hosts did some Irish tap dancing).

If they want to blame baseball players for negatively influencing the lives of children, so be it. But don’t stop there, no, that would be close-minded and predatory. If you want to blame baseball for corrupting our youth, you’re going to have to blame a lot of other people as well. First stop? Advertisers and their WMD — Supermodels. The last time I checked it was generally accepted that children can be negatively affected by models, and their thin, fit bodies. Many young girls are driven to anorexia and bulimia. These are two conditions that can be just as, if not more, dangerous then taking steroids in a controlled environment. I say Congress puts together a panel of Supermodels. Then they can broadcast this hearing live to all the news agencies, and they can title the broadcast “Death By Beauty”, because we all know how the networks love to sell consumers news based on fear. Put the Supermodels on a panel, and question them for 11 hours. At least that would be compelling TV that would provide me a reason to tune in — I could put the TV on mute, crank my tunes, and enjoy the eye candy.

That is something that people would TIVO.

I didn’t really want to turn this blog into a place of rant, but Jeebes, didn’t we all learn about lines in pre-school?

We all do it, and we tend to do it instinctively. I even think we like standing in line. People will see a line and just line up, assuming it’s for something cool (like on the Simpsons, where they see the long line and assume it must be for a really cool ride, but it turns out to be the complaint booth). It would seem I am wrong. It would seem there are a select few individuals out there that a) do not know about lines, or b) just don’t care to follow the social code of civil beings.

I was in line at a Tim Horton’s today that has two cash registers, and one line. This makes perfect sense to me, and the other people in line. The line splits the two registers and you go to the one that opens next. It reminds me of a bank line, though banks tend to have the ropes to maintain order. So me and my fellow man are standing in line, when some deviant individual walks past us and proceeds to stand directly behind one of the registers. The guy in front of me, the lady behind me, and I all met eyes, and shared a silent understanding. I took the lead. I politely explained to the confused person that we are all in line, and that he can’t just go to the front like that. He stood there and tried to direct me to go in front of him. I took a second to gather my thoughts. Perhaps I did not explain the rules on the line to him correctly. I tried again, this time using hand signs to show him how there is one line, and that we stand in the middle of the two registers, such that we can go to whichever one becomes available first. He didn’t understand. One of the registers opened, so I told the guy in front of me he should go. He did. The rule breaker just stood, with a mildly upset face on his head. The next register then opened and I went. He had now seen how the system worked, and I had hoped he understood. But alas, he still stood there trying to be the next customer. A register opened again and the lady behind me went. I got my coffee and went to where the end of the line was (near the exit) to wait for my partner in crime to get her English toffee drink. The guy in front of me walked by and thanked me. I’m not sure why. I guess for maintaining civil order. Then, the deviant came by. He had finally been served. I would say he was in his 40′s. As he walked by me he threw me a shoulder.

I could not believe it.

A 40 year old man threw me a shoulder on his way out. Who does that? What did he expect? Did he want to fight a 24 year old? Yes. Let’s fight. I am going to get in a fight in a Tim Horton’s, for trying to uphold the moral right. Please.

I laughed.

It was very funny to me. I couldn’t believe it. Who throws a shoulder in a Tim Horton’s?

The guy in front of me was sitting near this event, and he gave me the ‘wtf?’ look. And rightfully so. Did I mention I had to laugh?

It was quite an experience, and blew my mind so completely that this person saw fit to pass a line of nearly 10 people. I would like to believe that anyone reading this understands, and obeys, the unwritten line code of our society. Keep our society civil, as we are no longer animals.

Queue up.